The Exhausting Reality

I AM EXHAUSTED. It’s so hard you know. I wanted this, i wanted to be pregnant before James gets older. But having a 2 year old and being in my first trimester, it (almost) killed me some days. But : some sort of miracle happened and James just changed. No more daily tantrums, whining and clinging to me like a leach.

I know most moms can’t compare to this, and that most 2 year old’s give them hell but it’s like James grew up within a day and became this grown up little 2 year old that is kind, understanding and disciplined. Don’t get me wrong : we do have our days. Thinking back, I think James was at his worst around 18-21 months. So we did have (a really good) taste of the terrible two’s. He threw daily tantrums, challenged me and refused to listen. So naturally, when I became pregnant, I got so worried. I wasn’t sure how i was going to handle it all. Honestly, i was terrified. (Yes those three months of terrible “two’s” were so bad, that i was terrified of my child.) I was terrified of giving him the wrong sippi cup, terrified of giving him the wrong yoghurt, terrified of asking him to do anything that he is actually supposed to do. I was fearing the resentment, the screaming, the crying and the challenging stares. It made me feel like a failure. Why is my kid acting this way? What can i do? Answer is simple : Nothing.

For three weeks after finding out I was finally pregnant, James literally glued himself to my hip. He wanted to be held and picked up permanently and it was exhausting! I feared the worst and it happened. But one day, he stopped. He became a pretty great kid actually! I was so surprised and in such disbelief, that i didn’t even want to say it out loud. And now? I’m embracing and loving the “two’s” stage, i am embracing all the changes he is going through.

What changed? I have no clue. But he started sleeping through for the first time in 2 years! And no he did not just wake once a night. Most nights he would wake between 3-5 times and some nights it would be hourly. Yes, friggin hourly. Now he sleeps at 8pm every night without fail and gets up between 6:30am – 7:00am in the mornings. He greets everyone he sees with a very optimistic “hello!” and gives them his dimple smile I adore so much. He spoils us with so much love and kisses, it amazes me. He is talking so much now that it actually feels quite strange having a conversation with a (nearly) 2 year old. He even kisses my pregnant belly and talks about “the baby”. He is such a compassionate, caring and loving little boy and we are ever so grateful that he isn’t giving us too much of a hard time.

Looking back i realize this : At the age of two they are learning to find themselves. To communicate. They want to be heard. They have emotions they not completely sure how to express. They have bad days where they are grumpy for no apparent reason just like us. And just like you get some terrible 2 year old’s, you get terrible 3 year old’s, 16 year old’s, 25 year old’s and even 50 year old’s. I don’t think we should pin it down to a certain age cause hell, I know I went through terrible twenties at some point. 

So when you see a mom and you ask her how old her kid is (and that kid turns out to be two, or almost turning 2) don’t go lecturing her about “that age”. I’m sure she is sick of hearing “Oh you think it’s bad now, just wait until they hit 2. You won’t cope. Terrible two’s will be the end of you”

Not all 2 year old’s are bad.

They are not all terrible.

Mine is actually pretty great. For now, at least. 😉