Cliques exist everywhere. I honestly did not expect it in the blogging community but they are most definitely there! When you are a blogger, the things you do, say, love and hate might irritate someone, not because of what you have done, but because of their own insecurities and less-than-adult nature. My mom always has this “don’t-give-a-crap” attitude and “if you don’t like me, see the worry in my eye”, and gosh do i envy that. But high school pettiness and “clique” like behavior with bloggers tend to bring up more emotions than it should. I have learnt to deal with it and i am finally at peace with myself and the immaturity of the situation i was facing. That is why i finally mustered up the courage to think out loud, and say what so many have been thinking and dealing with.
Back to cliques : What are they? “A clique is a small group of people who spend time together and who are not friendly to other people : a narrow exclusive circle or group of persons; especially : one held together by common interests, views, or purposes”
The social media world can be harsh. I think it all descends from one point : Competition. Once we all start working with the same brands, gaining followers and gaining trust from these followers, some of the bad seeds in the community tend to get their claws out. They gossip, they increase their arrogant attitude and they start forming little gangs (a.k.a cliques). They try to gain power with their clique, exactly like a 16 year old in high school would.
They create this barrier and exclude the people they dislike. They are unwelcoming and treat others who are not worthy with such disrespect. But hey! Kiddo! You also started somewhere. You also had 0 fricken followers. You also got 10 likes per photo at most. Just because you have a big following, does not mean you are entitled. EVERYONE STARTED SOMEWHERE. Uplift them! Praise them! Teach them! And show them kindness like you expected from others when you were dying to get that one like to reach a full 10 on your Instagram photo.
Cliques do not always have to be a bad thing. You get some wonderful groups of ladies (or men) that welcome you into their circle and even with their 30k following on Instagram, they still interact and tell you how they enjoy your posts. That’s where we should be. Empowering one another instead of boasting our own power all over the (social media) world and coming across mean and arrogant.
I found this piece in an article i read on www.socialmediatoday.com – it’s pretty interesting!
The different type of cliques :
The Cool Kids – These social media pundits are the ones that don’t even act like they are trying to get friends and they get them anyway. But, that is their secret. They ARE really trying. They’re just ACTING like they’re not. These are the smooth social media contributors that post with authority. They present themselves as subject matter experts. They only post personal information or pics if they are at a fancy restaurants or sky diving or something. Even if their post is about info that every other guy is posting, they post it like it is REALLY important!
The Cheerleaders – These social media folks post with encouraging little remarks. Like “You can do it!” or “Don’t miss out!” They help their fans feel good about reading their posts because it will help them out and they are, after all, only thinking about you. They are upbeat and rosy! Stuff like, “We love to share good news, so we are so excited to tell you our MarthaDoodle dresses are in. EVERYONE is loving it! (pic)”
The Wasteoids – These social media experts present their material in a manner that says you must be super cool or hip to appreciate this product or service. Yeah, these posts aren’t for people that don’t appreciate them. They are selective with their audience and shout out ONLY to their other wasteoids friends (really they shout out to anyone but act like only other wasteoids are welcome.) They post with a lot words like organic, specialty, exclusive, rare, selective. Like our wasteoids in high school they gained their popularity by the exclusivity of their group. They were mysterious, so we’re dying to connect with them.
The Nerds – These social media users “wow” us with their techno talk. It doesn’t take much to throw some social media buzz words into posts and make them seem really edgy with technology. They mix up their posts with something really useful and then keep their mojo by posting an article on something most of us don’t understand, like web server distribution problems, or open source development techniques. So when they do post something we understand, we’re scrambling to get it because we are so excited we understand something this paragon of techno provided.
The Outcasts – These social media folks reach out to an audience by touching our fellow outcast feelings. These posts “relate.” Something like, “If you’re like me, you’ve have a hard time with……….” They use our need to fit in by posting articles or selling products/services that help with that. They want to help make you a better this, or slimmer that so finally you’ll fit in, and so on.
I conclude with this : Let’s just all get along! You do not have to like someone to be nice. You do not have to exclude people to show your power and authority. You do not have to badmouth them the uplift yourself and lastly, you do not have to prove your worth. Let your authenticity do that for you.
So , choose to be kind. Choose to uplift others. Choose to empower. Choose to love. And most importantly, choose to be truly authentic (yes you do get fake authenticity, but that’s a #TruthfulTuesday post for another day)
Ah, love this post. Been blogging for over 2 years and seem to fit the outcast category, but I’m okay with that ? have managed to befriend quite a few bloggers (not invite for coffee befriend) but befriend nonetheless.
I absolutely love your post. This doesn’t only happen in the blogger world but for us designers and small brands too. Trying to be seen or heard is no longer easy especially living where I do. You start feeling like a useless outcast who just doesn’t cut it after a while. As you said, everyone started somewhere, not everyone has the platforms that others do or the means to get to the top quickly. I have learnt a good lesson in my life and that is to be true to myself, kind to others and with lots of prayer everything works out in the end!
This is so true! Thanks for saying it! I started blogging four years ago and while most of the women I have met have been incredibly loyal and caring in their approach, I find that some (and yes often the ones who have been around the longest) are too good for you. They always seem to know better or silently judge you for doing things differently or blatantly don’t interact with your content but scream and shout when others don’t “show suoprt” Towards them. It’s a one way street of always thinking they are better instead of genuinely trying to help others. I’ve stopped listening to other people’s voices and trust my own heart and judgement while still remaining closely knit with those I trust and value opinions of – I have never felt more free and happy in my own thoughts and convictions – I’m no longer caring what these people think. I have all the time in the world for those who show me the same courtesy and respect but get in a high horse and that’s that ? Well done for finally saying what so many of us are thinking xxxx
Just brilliant! Just support one another. There’s place for everyone. Well done
I so agree with your post, I have also found this to be true in Photography circles, especially in my small hometown. The sun can’t shine on anyone else, in stead of encouraging and supporting each other, we get shot down, and only refer to our inner circle. It is so frustrating when we are starting out. Especially if service providers and venues are also involved. But oh well, here’s to keeping at it, taking it one day at a time.