Yes, finally with a question mark. To those who haven’t ever struggled to conceive their beautiful kids, you might find this post quite boring. To those who have indeed struggled, i admire you and feel your pain.
I got the slightest taste of what infertility feels like. By no means was it that bad that i needed something with extreme measure like IVF, but bad enough to effect my day to day living. It consumed my thoughts and made me feel hopeless.
Let me start by saying that i got pregnant with James quite easily – took 6 months but there was no ovulation tests, checking basal body temperature or gynecologist appointments. But this time was different. My body felt different. I had irregular cycles and was told eventually that i am not ovulating. It was heart breaking! I only found this out after 8 months trying and finally plucking up the courage to see my gynea. “Clomiphene” he said. “Take this on your next cycle, then come back on day 21 and we will see if you ovulated”. Day 21 came and sure as hell, i ovulated! I was beside myself with excitement. Clomiphene worked! But end of the cycle and a bunch of negative pregnancy tests.
So it went. Cycle after cycle. When we reached cycle 4 in December, it was heartbreaking. But being December, i had a lot to take my mind off it all. Fast forward a few weeks, and i realize I’m a week late. Excitement crept in ever so slowly. I bought a test (or a few – anyone trying to conceive know the struggle is real!). There it was : NEGATIVE. Yes you read right, absolutely negative. I was shattered. So clearly my irregular cycles made a comeback – since i was 10 days late at that stage? Well…
It was the 2nd of January and we just found out someone we know got pregnant accidentally. I cried, it’s very hard for us women hearing those words when we are trying to conceive. My husband consoled me that night and man, i don’t know where i would be without him. Two days go by and i just felt different – i cannot explain it. So off i went, buying more pregnancy tests. I planned on taking them the following morning, like you should for accuracy. That night, hubby was in the shower and i decided i couldn’t wait. I took one. A big fat PLUS sign. I was shaking, i didn’t want to believe it and get my hopes up. I took another, and sure as hell, another big fat plus. I took three tests in total that night before believing it. I ran to hubby, jumped in the shower with him (and with my clothes still on) with tears streaming down my face. “IM PREGNANT BABY!” The neighbors probably even heard me shouting. The 4th of January was one of the most memorable days of my life.
Yes i know i didn’t try as long as most infertile women do, but like i said, i got just a taste of how it feels and i would not wish it upon anybody. To those who are still trying, God has a plan. He works with a beautiful plan! One of my favorite quotes while trying to conceive was this : “Sleep well. God is in control. Angels have been assigned to your case. Your miracle is coming. Don’t give up.”
I believe my Dad in heaven looked after us, because when i worked the dates back to when we conceived, it happened to fall on the day God took him to heaven. It brought tears to my eyes. My dad might be gone, but he sure did make his presence known.
So to all the women still trying to conceive your beautiful little miracle, i am here for you. Inbox me, rant away when you see those negative tests, cause I know damn well how your world falls when you see it. Us women need to be more open about our struggles. Stop struggling alone, there’s so many more women out there with the exact same problems. Lets struggle together, cry together, be joyous together and celebrate together. We are so much tougher than we realize.
Lots of love,
Chenel xoxo
What a lovely story, it brought tears to my eyes reading about your dad and your conception date. Congratulations and thank you for sharing your story. We’ve been on the infertility path for 2 years now, with 2 miscarriages during that time and it’s heartbreaking. But so wonderful hearing about beautiful success stories like yours!
Chanel, I absolutely loved this post. Been trying for 6 months so far for #2…. I pray everyday and I know our little miracle is on the way. Thank you for sharing your beautiful story! P.s. I’m sitting at the doctors rooms paging through Jan 2017’s baba & kleuter and saw the article on James’s room! You’re an inspiration and this gives me hope x
Wow! Wat n mooi storie! Sooo bly vir julle! Xx
I am going through the same thing. We took 5 months to concieve my son who is now almost 3. We have been trying for a year for number 2 and it just isn’t happening. I do believe everything happens for a reason and god has a plan but gosh it’s hard finding out month after month that I’m not pregnant. My heart breaks for those who cannot have their own kids as just one year is driving me mad. Those stories about people conceiving accidentally or after 1 month make me angry/irritated/sad and when I do get my period I’m a mess for a day. Praying it’s our turn too for number 2. Congrats on yours ❤
Mooi vriendin!!❤
Congratulations on your beautiful little miracle that’s on its way!! This is such a beautiful story, it brought tears to my eyes just shows us GOD is always there ……
Your Dad really is your guardian angel. After two failed artificial insemination procedures last year the Doctors told my daughter that there was a 1% chance of her falling pregnant naturally. So they scraped together the money for IVF. The proceedure was to take place late in March.
A few weeks agof she phoned me and was hysterical.. She was a few days late and had taken a pregnancy test. You know, those ones that are just lying around. Anyway,after a blood test later in the day it was confirmed she was pregnant. We also have a guardian angel.