“Everybody in your circle might not be in your corner.”

I watched a video with this caption recently and it really got me thinking. Are these people you call friends for you? Or against you? You not sure? Sometimes the people you love most, are secretly wishing you fail. The people you trust, tell your problems to, confide in. They not consoling you to help you, they are secretly enjoying your failures. Adding value to your life sometimes means subtracting these kinds of people and let me tell you why.


Some of these so-called friends are so present when you struggle. Where are they when you win? When you succeed? They don’t congratulate you, and if they do, they don’t mean it and you can see it ever so clearly in how they act. Sometimes, as you are climbing you ladder up to success-heaven, you have people at the bottom trying to saw it down. The more successful you get, the more jealous they become. They start becoming silent. They don’t clap when you win. Look closely.


Do these so-called friends really love you? Support you? Or are they faking it? Misusing you? Using you for their own benefit? Think about that for a second. Those people who are eager to take what you have to give, but there’s silence when you achieve your goals and make it to the top. Those people that pretend they are perfect, but underneath they are even more sly than you realize? These people are only in your life for something, something that benefits them. When the benefits stop, you see them drifting away. Yeah those people, LET THEM GO.

These people are in it for themselves. They don’t care about you! And it’s time you realize that. Support doesn’t always come from familiar faces – sometimes it comes from complete strangers that you haven’t even noticed. These strangers were put in your life for a reason. People who stick together and uplift each other is a force to be reckoned with. Powerful, incredible and something that can make history.

Let these negative people go. The size of your circle does NOT matter. The loyal ones do. One loyal friend and supporter are 1000 times better than a million fake ones.

If you lucky enough to have friends that root for you, that cheer for you, that add value to your success, then you are one hell of a lucky person. They are scarce, so keep them close. Quality above quantity – always! Your happiness and your health come first. (Well if you a mom, it comes like seventh because you all know us moms take a backseat and put everything else first – but that’s a whole different blog post). Taking care of yourself means removing toxicity out of your life. I know this all sounds so high school right? We all thought this crap would end when high school ends, but alas, it carries on throughout your life. Especially now that social media has grown exponentially! Following a toxic person? Unfollow. Facebook friends with a toxic person? Unfriend. Life’s too short to be anything but happy, man. “If it costs you your happiness, it’s too expensive.”

The worst is when someone like this is part of your family. What the hell do you do? Well, you can set limits, be truthful without being condescending, distance yourself until you get some clarity and lastly, be the better person. I know that last one sucks, but when it’s family, you have to just suck it up a little. Just to keep the peace around you.

And if you are one of those people misusing someone around you, not giving them credit where credit is due? Shame on you. What’s the reason? Is it something personal you need to work on? Don’t blame your “friend” when you suddenly just don’t hear from her anymore, you know what you did.

Anyway, I’ve been rambling too long. Point is: YOU are the change you wish to see in your life. YOU can make your life better. YOU and only you can pull out the weeds in your ever-growing garden, you just need to get the courage to do that. Life has a funny way of working out, don’t be afraid. You can do this.


J&J’s mama